Pain management

So, I went to see my family physician yesterday hoping to get a script from him to restart my therapy with a P.T. I figured out i desperately needed to go back as much as I hate going to one. And as my earlier script had expired, needed to get another one. Also, I have been thinking of going for an alternative treatment like an acupuncture and wanted to know how he feels about it. And imagine my shock, when he ordered an MRI to be sure there's nothing more to it. Really, MRI? I shred to even think about the results. I hope there's nothing wrong with my spine!! Fingers crossed! Please do pray for me.

And then, he said that after the results come out, we will figure out what kind of treatment I should go for. If nothing's wrong, meaning, I do not need surgeries(god forbid!), he might suggest a pain management doctor. Now that term, in itself, was entirely new to me! How is a pain mgmt doc differnt from a P.T., I asked him, in all my ignorance. He was kind enough to explain to me that a pain mgmt doc uses different methods like injections. Now, I panicked. Leave aside, my fear of those needles going deep inside me, I dread to think about the side effects of those steroids! Even without them and all my exercise plans abondoned since my accident, I have been putting on pounds like anything. I was even treated with respect and given way and help by the strangers in public places, who obviously thought I was carryin(ahem!). Do you get the picture as to where all those pounds are accumulating?? Besides, the fact that the last time I had taken give steroid injections for my unfortunate ankle treatment, six years ago, it had still failed to get me any sort of relief. All it had done, was to just put lots of weight on me. Only a change in shoes style and working hard, then, to shed those extra fat cells, had seen me forgetting there was anything wrong ever, with my ankle. And now, just when I had begun to enjoy my pain-free life, this had to happen!! Guess, God certainly, has different plans for me!

Talking about MRI, I cannot even take it unless I get a pre-cert from my insurance. Phew! There's so much complications associated than I ever thought there would be. Life, sure is a roller coaster for me. Even with all the leaps of the heart, and the eye-squeezing fears, I should learn to enjoy the thrills, shouldn't I?

Living with the pain

The pain has returned and has been constant for past two weeks or so; sometimes even exceeding my threshhold level, especially in the neck and nt to mention the lower back.. I feel as good as an invalid. When a simple task needs a lots of self morale boosting and seems like an achievement on a regular basis, then there's something definitely amiss. And then i get irritated with myself and in turn, very irksome and take it out on everybody around me, especially the poor little kids. Who, actually are not as little anymore and ask back why am I screaming at them instead of talking nicely to them. I, then realize my mistake n try to soften them up n try to deal with my aches n pains in different ways. Ibubrufen, ice-packs, stretching exercises, and mom's age-old herbal oil massage recipe gives me a temp relief. But then again, as I said, if even after the pain persists after ten days of this regular treatment, there's more to it than what it looks on the surface.

I still cannot understand whys n hows of being discharged from the P.T.'s care. According to her, I was 85% better and could control the pain with regualar stretching exercises. I followed her advice and did all the needful. And for a while, even had begun to feel better only to find the pain aggravating for past few days. Phew! Will I ever get better? Will I ever be able to live a pain-free life again? My P.T says no. But, I want to prove her wrong, entirely, truly, completely. Only that. Have no clue how to? All the stretching, yoga, breathing doesn't seem to be working for now. Am I being impatient? Should I give it more time to heal, to actually start working on me? Don't knw! Guess hv to first push the negative thoughts out of me! Probably then, it all will start working. Fr nw, got to live with the pain..

I Know the pain

I know the pain
Of an infant now
Who lies on his back
And does not know how to roll over
And ease the pressure on the back of its head

I know the pain
Of an arthritis patient now
Who cannot move the fingers
Without hurting each and every nerve cell
Without letting out a scream with every attempt made

I know the pain
Of an injured sportsperson now
Who has to rest awhile
Lest the injury persists, gets chronic
Lest it becomes a problem of the lifetime

I know the pain
Of a hapless mother
Who is unable to provide
Her warmth to the kids playing nearby
Her spirit to the angels, to the sunshine of her life..

And it was a Friday again

Not as eventful as the last Friday, that you know of. This one was the one was filled with the after-effects of the last one. By the way, I have taken off the erlier post, on a friend's advise, till the whole thing sort of clears out. So, the first three days went really fine with a few friends' help who provided with enough meals for the foursome of us, which actually helped me getting the much needed rest. The remaining was taken care by my loving spouse, which actually made me feel as fit as ever. The reality sank in on the fourth day when I tried to bring back the normalcy into our lives. "I am a mom", I told myself " and am entitled to only some time off". Making myself believe this, did the much needed laundry, grocery and dishes. All this while my left arm and shoulders were throbbing. The neck was stil in pain n even a mundane task of rolling out the bread seemed daunty and sent my head reeling off. I endured it all and went on until last night when the whole area from the back of my head to neck to shoulder to arm went numb and alternted with the tingling sensation. I took an aleve and dozed off to sleep. This morning when I woke up, the numbness had travelled to the other side. And that's when we headed to the ER. The CT-scan was done, came out clearbut it turns out I have a pinched nerve, somewhere in my neck which gets irritated by all the movement. It's fairly common in car accidents like these, I was told. "take it easy for 3-4 weeks", the doctor said. But HOW is the big question!!

P.s. did i tell u the CT scan machine sounds like an airplanetaking off on the runway.

The lady was interviewed
After four years, when she was Dreaming to get back to her career and hoping to be be interviewed as a hopeful candidate, the first interview she gives is for the auto-accident. Sigh! More sighs! It was a recorded one (gave me a feeling of testifying for a legal case) and i was asked about all the details relating to the accident. I will put up all the questions that I can remember, sometime later. Now, my neck is hurting too much to even try n recollect.