Saturday, June 02, 2012

Living with the pain

The pain has returned and has been constant for past two weeks or so; sometimes even exceeding my threshhold level, especially in the neck and nt to mention the lower back.. I feel as good as an invalid. When a simple task needs a lots of self morale boosting and seems like an achievement on a regular basis, then there's something definitely amiss. And then i get irritated with myself and in turn, very irksome and take it out on everybody around me, especially the poor little kids. Who, actually are not as little anymore and ask back why am I screaming at them instead of talking nicely to them. I, then realize my mistake n try to soften them up n try to deal with my aches n pains in different ways. Ibubrufen, ice-packs, stretching exercises, and mom's age-old herbal oil massage recipe gives me a temp relief. But then again, as I said, if even after the pain persists after ten days of this regular treatment, there's more to it than what it looks on the surface.

I still cannot understand whys n hows of being discharged from the P.T.'s care. According to her, I was 85% better and could control the pain with regualar stretching exercises. I followed her advice and did all the needful. And for a while, even had begun to feel better only to find the pain aggravating for past few days. Phew! Will I ever get better? Will I ever be able to live a pain-free life again? My P.T says no. But, I want to prove her wrong, entirely, truly, completely. Only that. Have no clue how to? All the stretching, yoga, breathing doesn't seem to be working for now. Am I being impatient? Should I give it more time to heal, to actually start working on me? Don't knw! Guess hv to first push the negative thoughts out of me! Probably then, it all will start working. Fr nw, got to live with the pain..

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