Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Know the pain

I know the pain
Of an infant now
Who lies on his back
And does not know how to roll over
And ease the pressure on the back of its head

I know the pain
Of an arthritis patient now
Who cannot move the fingers
Without hurting each and every nerve cell
Without letting out a scream with every attempt made

I know the pain
Of an injured sportsperson now
Who has to rest awhile
Lest the injury persists, gets chronic
Lest it becomes a problem of the lifetime

I know the pain
Of a hapless mother
Who is unable to provide
Her warmth to the kids playing nearby
Her spirit to the angels, to the sunshine of her life..

Friday, February 24, 2012

And it was a Friday again

Not as eventful as the last Friday, that you know of. This one was the one was filled with the after-effects of the last one. By the way, I have taken off the erlier post, on a friend's advise, till the whole thing sort of clears out. So, the first three days went really fine with a few friends' help who provided with enough meals for the foursome of us, which actually helped me getting the much needed rest. The remaining was taken care by my loving spouse, which actually made me feel as fit as ever. The reality sank in on the fourth day when I tried to bring back the normalcy into our lives. "I am a mom", I told myself " and am entitled to only some time off". Making myself believe this, did the much needed laundry, grocery and dishes. All this while my left arm and shoulders were throbbing. The neck was stil in pain n even a mundane task of rolling out the bread seemed daunty and sent my head reeling off. I endured it all and went on until last night when the whole area from the back of my head to neck to shoulder to arm went numb and alternted with the tingling sensation. I took an aleve and dozed off to sleep. This morning when I woke up, the numbness had travelled to the other side. And that's when we headed to the ER. The CT-scan was done, came out clearbut it turns out I have a pinched nerve, somewhere in my neck which gets irritated by all the movement. It's fairly common in car accidents like these, I was told. "take it easy for 3-4 weeks", the doctor said. But HOW is the big question!!

P.s. did i tell u the CT scan machine sounds like an airplanetaking off on the runway.

The lady was interviewed
After four years, when she was Dreaming to get back to her career and hoping to be be interviewed as a hopeful candidate, the first interview she gives is for the auto-accident. Sigh! More sighs! It was a recorded one (gave me a feeling of testifying for a legal case) and i was asked about all the details relating to the accident. I will put up all the questions that I can remember, sometime later. Now, my neck is hurting too much to even try n recollect.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The year of the dragon!!

Can't believe that we already are done with first half of the second month pf the calendar. The year 2012 is just flying by too fast for a snail-pacer a.k.a me! The new years eve was just a few days ago, when we had gathered in a small group and wished each other on the stroke of midnight. And now we are done with th valentines celebrations too! And here, I wasn't even done deciding what resolutions (that I hv been thinking of) should I finally stick to this year!

Well, truth be told, the standard ones were carried forward from last year and were being followed as gestly as they always are i.e. with the much unavoidable (looong) intermittent gaps.

And yes, you can claim a reward, for you guessed it right! The very first of these said promises to myself is all about losing weight, exercising more and eating healthy!! Since this is a much accepted fact that my happy days of hogging-more-and-still-not-putting-an-ounce are long over(though it was a very reluctant and delayed acceptance), and that I have reached that stage in life when every new store-bought item of clothing, somehow, mysteriously stitches itself within a few weeks of its purchase date ( and of course, all receipts being discarded), I am left with a huge stack of clothes in my wardrobe, in which I have to wriggle and wiggle my torso. And given the amount of time, I usually get to deck myself up and leave the house, I am left with just a pair of blue denims mixed and matched with a couple of tops, chosen according to the colder or warmer days. God forbid, something happens to that prized possession of mine!! So, in essence, after a long period of hesitation, yours truly, has managed to drag herself to the basement of her house and haul herself on the said treadmill and actually managed to start working out. That she has shedding any pounds cannot be said, as the weighing machine had to go out of order at this fortune moment and if she is dropping any sizes is again irrelevant as the clothes have conspired amongst themselves and continue to shrink. The only positive (if you can see that) is that if she misses on those sessions, her little gym instructors(read daughters) say, "hey! You are getting fat! You need to exercise!" That, they get to watch uninterrupted shows on television as momma huffs and puffs on the machine, is an entirely different story!

Resolution one A, can be put as an extension to the above and that is of healthy eating, which has succeeded so far, if you count the number of times we ate out last year. Almost, every weekend, we were shoving those grease-laden junkies inside ourselves, on the pretext of being too tired or too long way to home. That we haven't yet gone on any of our those shopping expeditions is not to be counted. Also, to be ignored, is the fact that we have been to such parties/get togethers, where the food was ordered from such 'unfit' foodie joints.

The second taken over from the year-long-gone is the one on anger/stress management. And no, I am not talking about not taking it out on the much-harassed DH. No sire! That cannot be! Not with me! That, I have decided, can be rated at par with the skies meeting the earth! I, as mortal as I am, need to make some practical resolutions this year. And that would mean- a blank- as I still have no clues, what might work for me on those front. See, I told you, the year is going fast! In truth, Number of solutions have been duly attempted and failed last year. So, any help, on this front, would be greatly appreciated. The thing that worries me now is, the kids picking up on those negative vibes and thowing it back at me. So, me needs to magically transform myself into a role-model who just smiles through those times! Difficult to picture it, isn't it? At least 50% of the times, sounds achievable? But the big Q remains, HOW??

To take a better care of myself, is the third one. Currently, I can easily be passed as someone atleast seven years older to my actual age. With the dry shabby unmanegaeable pile of straws sitting on my head, a rough cracking skin on the hands and the forever- tired eyes, I have let myself take a back-seat all these years. The year of the Dragon will see me more at the dignified spas enjoying those rivetted facials and massages, manicures and pedicures, if I ever get around to follow this one, that is.

What I already have started doing, is nurturing my soul(which,for me, is biggie). With half a dozen of books already read and done with, and a spiritual connection with myself being attempted (via the path of meditation), and another few attempts to explore the artistic side in me(if it even exists), I can give myself a pat on the back on that front. Among the books check-marked are The Kite Runner, A thousand Splendid Suns, the Help, Buddha, 11/22/63, the Litigator( which, by the way, reminded me why I had stopped reading Grisham), Micro (apply comments from previous). The list contains the dragon tattoo trilogy and the likes. Pursuing a hobby, I feel, helps one to connect with the self.

And the BIG one is - to kick myself out of the house!! And get myself to actually do something!! The past five years have seen me Dancing and jumping around the kids, and with them now erupting with those bouts of independence, me needs to find something more to involve myself with. With statements like "I already know that" when The naive me try to show them new stuff(like ipad) and "I actually read that book myself" when the oldie me offer to read the new book brought just a couple of hours back, My poor heart would lay broken somewhere, if I still fail to get the signs and move on.. And no, blogging is not it! It has to be something else. Something, that takes me out of the comfort I have led myself to within the defined premises. Cuz when the littlest one declares, each morning, that she wants to go out too, and when she, too, eventually will be out five days a week, I do not want myself left blankly staring at the four walls of my heaven. No! I need to go out and experience the hell to salvage my sanity!!
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