Saturday, September 23, 2006

Musical ME!

Music- be it singing or playing instruments, I feel, is a talent that everybody cannot possess. It is a gift of God and has to come from within. This is a form of art, which one cannot learn. Of course, it involves practice to improve and sharpen the musical skills too. Those who are aware of my vocal talents must be thinking.. what does this lady want to write about music? what does she know anything about 'sur' and 'taal' ? and I would agree with them.. when it comes to the vocal abilities of combining sur and taal, i definitely lag any such talent and even if i try to hum the most popular numbers, it becomes difficult to recognise which one am i trying to sing.. This, i know, coz even as i sing, i know that the tune in my mind and that coming out of my throat are a complete mismatch and am singing completely out of track..

Musical abilities, for sure, is one gift of God, that I don't have. And years ago, I had realised this and stopped traumatizing those around me, restraining myself to listening to music. Be it ghazals, bhajans, hard rock, maestro's instrumental or the film numbers, i would listen to all forms, at times going deep into their meanings and at times just to reflect my current mood or routine or occasion. There would be times though, when the power of music would take over and influence my mood and lift my spirits up. There were times, when I had started listening to tamil and telugu songs as well. After all, music is the only language which needs no translation. It is first and foremost an individual experience, as we experience the pleasure of expressing feelings and emotions, the satisfaction that we feel when we listen to cerain pieces, as a result of our affinity for certain musical genres and styles.

Lately, I have come out of my inhibitions and have started humming songs(thanks to my darling hubby, who would lovingly bear all my atrocities despite of knowing the fact that i am not even fit to be a bathroom singer). Humming songs, I have discovered, is another way of taking my mind off a zillion of things...and who knows this humming might lead my dormant vocal talent to shape in something very just wait and watch!!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Marriages ..seen through Secret Lives of Dentists

One may call it a movie review or anything similar..But the fact is, I had been wanting to put my thoughts about this movie 'Secret lives of dentists' ever since I have seen it. This is a lovely movie.. Offbeat but lovely (and not a porn movie as the name might suggest to some!) Made by the same director as American beauty ( Don't ask me the name now, Am too bad in remembering these foreign names), it brings out the one aspect of human psychology, their fears, their insecurities and of course marriages. So, if you like watching people around you, reading them, or ponder over the special bond called 'marriage', then go on and read this blog further. This movie, set me thinking, about marriages, unhappy spouses, unsatisfied partners, betrayals, divorces, and in particular, made me sit and evaluate where I stand in my marriage!

The movie is all about two dentists married to each other.. Having everything in life that anyone could wish for in life! A nice home, a well-equipped clinic, three lovely kids, a country home for weekends.. The wife is beautiful and lovely; the husband is supportive and understanding, what else would a content married life need? Everything goes on well until the man sees his wife in somebody else's arms and from thereon the movie actually takes off.. He is clearly very shattered with this knowledge but fears to bring out this topic or even confront his wife in the fear that any hint of this might lead to their separation, which he would be unable to bear! But as he doesn't speak up, all his frustration and agitation and bafflement and reasoning and .... self-control come out through his conversations with his alter ego and through his fantasies of his wife romancing with others.. I really like the way he is fighting with himself, his negativity.. And trying to control his thoughts and get back to normal. And there are times when he loses his control and all his anger comes out.. and he mutters things like 'I could kill you!' in front of the kids. How the whole family is shaken!! He sincerely hopes that everything returns back to normal and there is a time when he would be quite sure that his strayed wife has come back to him, forever. But then that very night, she doesn't return home! The next morning, when she is back, he finally realizes that he can no longer live with the fear and the uncertainty of losing her and that he is left with no other option but to face the truth. He again struggles his alter ego, who wants him to ask her whom he is seeing, and asks his wife just one question whether she would be staying or leaving. She chooses to stay and though he is relieved, his anger within, his feeling of dejection take over and he breaks everything that's around him.. Still, he tells his wife, that he doesn't want to know anything of what she did. Applauds to him!

The end is controversial though; for me at least it is. I am not talking about his not wanting to know what she did, neither is this about a gender. What I am still not sure of is whether betrayal by spouse is pardonable. And this is what actually would bring out lots of discussion. I still cannot figure out what he does is right or not! But yes, the more I think about it, more I realize why commitment is important in a marriage. It is your commitment, which decidedly, will keep your marriage going.

Since, I have touched this topic, let me touch everything in this movie that made me ponder and may be much more...
The other very obvious thing showed in this movie, which is very essential in a marriage is "Conversation". Partners should easily be able to talk out their feelings, their longings, their wishes, their fears, their apprehensions to each other. Equally important is being able to lend a ear. Conversation is when their is talking and listening both!

The one important thing that is necessary to understand is that marriage is much beyond just having sex with your partner or having children. At the same time, a good sex life is a crucial factor in a successful marriage.

There's nothing called "perfection" when it comes to marriage. Marriage matters are never perfect! There's no such thing as a 'perfect marriage' or a 'perfect spouse'. Every marriage will have its equal share of happiness and disappointments, fights and makeovers, differences and similarities, arguments and understandings, mud-slingings and compromises, unpleasantness and forgiveness. It lies in one's own hands to make a successful marriage and take it to altars.

This answers my question, too! No wonder the guy in this movie just forgot everything and gave an attempt to make his marriage rework!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Celebrating Love!

As I today sit and watch the twilight
I cannot help but wonder about my own life
which had turned so black and white..
How so ever I had wanted to rise
My life, I had started to despise
I had become lonely and forlorn
With darkness surrounding me all around
Do not know what had gone wrong
But silently had endured it all along
My dreams had all been washed out by the sea
I had wanted to run away and break free!

It was you, my love who had kept me going
And kept the twinkle in my eyes glowing..
Your understanding with me all this while
In toughest times, you have made me laugh and smile
You gave me again the freedom of flight
Restoring in me, my lost sense of light!
You helped me remove all the worries from my mind
With all your gentle love and your heart so kind
In matters of life, you help me form a say
And let me have many things my own way

As the sun sets into the night, worns
I realize, hedged with roses are thorns
When there would be sun, there would be shades
Criticisms would come along with accolades
Through joys and pains, sunshines and rains,
We have to stand together like mountains
Head held high, facing challenges, answering questions all
With each problem, love growing stronger, love growing tall
Like the bright sun battering an empty sky
Resolving all in what rather than why
Each moment of our life let's celebrate
Coz together we are bound by love and fate!

Sunday, June 18, 2006


May be it's our imperfections that make us perfect for each other!
- Mr. Knightley in Jane Austen's novel Emma

The other day I saw a forward by a friend which was an image of a female skeleton sitting on a bench. Caption read - "Waiting for a perfect man". Comic, yes! But, was the woman perfect either?

It's very easy to find fault in others but vanity lies in helping them improve over those! This, of course, holds true for friends but truer in marriages, where in it's very important that we leave our egos behind and instead of humbling and finding fault with partner, help each other in overcoming our faults and work towards perfecting our relationship! I use the word perfecting here coz I feel every step taken towards improvizing the relationship in a marriage helps in perfecting it!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Ek Boond..

Ever since I read this poem for the first time, when I was just 10 or 11 yrs old, I have related myself with this poem.
Reason one- these lines always motivate me to hope beyond the hopes... they always encourage me to look outside the comfort level.. to reach out for the new, for the unexpected!

Reason two- What lies ahead, is always a question.. a curiosity.. nonetheless it never ceases to leave my mind. Though, I don't worry abt the future but yes i ponder over the impacts of my present over my future.

Reason three- Through this poem, for the first time, I had come to know the true meaning of my name- 'Swati' - it's the constellation of rains, the very constellation of hope for the farmers, when there were no scientific means of predicting weather! it's the very constellation, in hindu mythology, for which mythological bird chakor would wait for all year long to drink water! and yes... it's the very constellation, in which the speck of sand and the drop of water, combine together in the oyster's shell to form pearl!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Saw Lion King recently. It sure has many lessons than I had expected! A movie for adults and children alike!

Really liked the movie for the message it conveys and would definitely want to watch it again and again.. especially when i wud not be in my spirits..

Father-son relationship has been picturized very beautifully.. The way Mufasa assumes the role of a teacher, a friend and a guide at varous stages .. the way he is strict when he needs to be, discreet when desired and gentle when he just wants to be a father and nothing else!

I like the part when he explains to young Simba about the great circle of life and how important it is to maintain this delicate balance and respect each and every creature on this earth! Coming to think of it, we can apply this to the larger aspects of society as well..

As a cub, Simba's inquisitiveness, his eagerness to learn, to know things, to have fun, to look out for adventure(not knowing that it might mean trouble!), to show his bravery to his friend, to do the forbidden is quite understandable. His young, impressionable mind believes everything that is being told to him by those who fascinate him! He is proud of his father and no doubt, wants to be like him when he grows up! My brother once confessed that as a kid even he wanted to be just like as our dad- grow as tall as him, walk like him, and talk just like him, and as .. for him, dad was all powerful, mighty and strong!

Hakuna-matata means no worries. True, we need not worry ourselves to death, and surely it's a way to be happy but as Nala wisely says not worrying doesn't mean that you have to turn away from your responsibilities as well!

Timon and Pumbaa gave food, shelter and above all companionship to Simba when he needed it the most. But, there are times when he realises that though he is enjoying a carefree life, he is not happy and is missing on something. Why? B'coz he had a very different purpose in life. He wasn't meant to just sing and dance around. Ever applied to yourself?

And last but not the least, Do not run away from your past. You cannot change your past; bad things do happen to everybody. Instead, put it behind you and get along with life!! As Rafiki cleverly puts "the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it... or ... learn from it"

Quoting the lyrics of the song..

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
In the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all

Through despair and hope
Through faith and love

Till we find our place
On the path unwinding

In the Circle
The Circle of Life

Friday, May 26, 2006

My first blog..

Had always wanted an e-diary.. had been postponing it ever since..
promise myself to be regular on this one..
It's early morning now.. and my head is cramped with sleep!!
Gotta catch some atleast as hv to go to office after a couple of hours..

Sweet Dreams Rikki!!
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